the weirdestfunniest Sherlock storie's ever
by epic ghost writer
Summary: story hints: swagger, lil wayne. thats all you get. rated t for language.
1. Chapter 1

After a very successful go around with the press, Sherlock and John headed back to the small group upstairs, where they were laughing and drinking champagne. As Sherlock entered the flat, he ran straight into Lestrade who in turn, spilled his the contents of his champagne flute all over Sherlock's shirt. Sherlock headed through the kitchen to his room to change. He winced as he took his shirt off, his back still extremely beat up from his encounter with the Serbians. Mycroft had forced him to get it looked at by some of his, in Sherlock's opinion, incompetent physicians but he hadn't even thought about it since then. He grabbed a new shirt, his back facing the door. Then he heard the door open and a gasp escape someone's mouth."DAAAAAMMN SON. who'd u piss off" said lil wayne as he leaned back. Sherlock sighed as he turned around, "Get the fuck out lil wayne i dont have time for your shit today.""shit fo shizzle? damn nigga's bez trippin" lil wayne stated as he strutted out back into the kitchen. his swagger intensely overwhelming. Sherlock put on a fresh shirt and followed lil wayne into the kitchen. He became dizzy on the way from the leftover swag that followed lil wayne. He came up and stood beside lil wayne. "So what the fuck are you doing here?" "well when i heard my nigga came back from the grave, i need to be sure" lil wayne answered " and here he bez, my nigga my nigga" lil wayne said while patting sherlocks back. Sherlock flinched. "What the fuck, man? You literally just saw that my back was fucked up." Silence settled between the two for a moment before Sherlock broke it. "I missed you tho." "yo man me too yo me too" lil wayne replied well gazing into sherlocks eyes. Sherlock looked back to the group, making sure they weren't paying attention before he slipped his hand into lil wayne's. He leaned towards his secret lover. "You're my bae," he whispered. lil wayne backed away ashamed of their relationship. "whoa nigga no homo" he said while lifting his hands up to retaliate. Sherlock just shook his head, a smile forming. He was used to lil wayne's denial of their relationship, even though lil wayne totally wrote his song 'how to love' about Sherlock. before lil wayne could remark on sherlock smile, molly came over to them. "hello wayne" molly said shyly. she always had a thing for lil wayne. "whatz uuuuuupppp baby" lil wayne draw'd out, trying to flirt. Sherlock tried not to glare at molly, despite his overcoming feelings of jealousy. "He's gay, Molly. Back the fuck up," Sherlock confronted her, coldly."whoa man don't bez hate'n" lil wayne said. his face growing serious. he grabbed mollys butt and walked to the rest of the group with her. Sherlock's jaw dropped and he had to force himself to close it as he also followed them back to the group. He sat down next to Mrs. Hudson and wrapped his arm around her, "Hello Hudders," He greeted, his voice low and sultry. meanwhile john had stood there with no fucking idea as to how and why sherlock new lil wayne and why he was in their fucking flat, flirtin and shit.

THE END

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((poor john doesn't fucking know whats happening))


	2. Chapter 2

" john i can't...i can't... control it anymore" sherlock said through grinded teeth. John looked up. "What can't you control?"

"the...swa...swagger..." sherlock suddenly ripped off his jacket and pulled out a purple bandanna and tied it around his head. John gasped loudly and covered his eyes. "We've talked about this Sherlock! You can't bring the swagger in here!" sherlock took off his belt and let his trousers sag low. "yo yo yo what uuuup my nizzle" sherlock stated as he made gang signs with his hands. "Oh God," John breathed out. "It's started." he cowered in his arm chair, before letting out a bellow and tackling Sherlock to the floor. "Mrs. Hudson!" he screamed. "Get the anti-swag kit! It's started again!" Mrs. Hudson rushed in and sprayed Sherlock's eyes with the anti-swag foam. sadly it did not work this time. the intensity of his swagger was too strong for it now. it was so strong in fact that it made others around him dizzy. "It's not working!" cried the landlady, horrified by the sheer intensity. "John- oh you'll have to handle it!" she dropped the anti-swag kit and rushed off, leaving John with Sherlock still pinned down. John quickly rummaged through the anti-swag kit, dumping pills and various articles onto Sherlock's face, before becoming overwhelmingly dizzy and giving up. sherlock stood up and began to fiercely twerk in victory.

the end

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i'd love to hear you thoughts!


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